August 29 1854

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 Sender: Martha Haun
Sender Location: Georgetown, KY
Recipient: James Haun
Recipient Location: Nelson Creek, CA


[upside down]
PS yesterday I was forty three

August 29 1854

My own Sweet husband-

I have just received
your letter of date July the 16th it will be eight
weeks to morrow since I got a letter until this evening
it was brought to our church to me. I was
there with a parcl of the sisters a making of a new
carpet we biged money enough to by & putting it
down on the floor. I had spent the day quite
pleasantly. I read my letter went up to the
far end of the church to be a lone when I read but
I could not as usual refran from. Shedding trears
the sisters all made affectionate inquiryes a bout
you. So I put on my bonet & went home to indulge
in what I could not help a long cry. I wrote to Dave
in the mean time wiped my tears & tryed to look
as cheer ful as I could & went back & helped them to
finish but my poor hart if they could only have
looked in to it they would have seen it bleeding at
every pour, though with a tolerably cheerfull face
the which for oh I have learned that their is not
much true sympathy in this world my poor boy
trying to wash his shirts- & you that I ahve always
took so much delight in making & fixing your cloths
going dirty & rogged these things are hart rending
to me & I am determined if our lives are spared
to be with you this winter if you do not come
home Dave has promised to go with me & start
the first of Dec I had rather go out than for
you to come home with out a hansome little fortune
I know I would like the trip I have no fear or dread of
any hardship that I may meet with for nothing will
be hard to me. if I can only gauge matters here to
suit me which I think I can though it will go verry hard
with me if I have to leave Lizzie & yet harder
with her & I do not know yet whether I can take her
& these little negro children- but you & John are
far dearer to me than any thing else on this earth
it seems that I must be parted from some of you
& oh is it reasonable that I should give up every thing else
for my husband & child & any rate my feelings
tell me so— I stoped last knight I now
comence a gain- to day I feel some better I hope a gain
has predominated that I will yet see you in this world
we must a gain to the church to day to finish I
gave her with the sisters & have employed my self toler
ably well. we are a going to have a district meeting
to commence on friday & will last until Sunday knight
it is to make some arrangement about the Bible
union society. we will have several preachers how
I look forward to he meeting with satisfaction yet
with sorrow that you are not here to enjoy it with
me. Tom & Laura has been down to see me to knight
& Tom discourages me so much a bout going to Cal
ho days it will never do for me to go to calafornia
or rather to the mines he says I ought not to
think of such a thing for he has no idea I could
stand it. I sometimes think it would be better
for you & John to come home this winter money or
no money for I do know we can make a good living
& he to gather: it will cost a good deal for me to go
out to so many to miss me & feell the want of me
I mean the negroes & lizzie & likely all to no purpose
as far as interest is concerned but I feel I must see you
by an other spring & if you do not come I will at all
hazzard go to you we have so few to provide for that
it looks foolish in us to make our scheel miserable a
bout it & to be happy or contented a way from you
I cannot oh I think if I could only have you with me
in a comfortable little homeof our own where we
could go to our church & have the society of our brother
& sister & see John engaged in something to be a ma
king something for him self & en joying him self with
his young friends. I would be so happy. I have suffered
so much in mind since you have left that to be with you
would he happiness enough for me. a gain at other
time I feel the same old ambitious arising to have
you & that dear child rich that I think I will hear
every thing to accomplish. I say these things to
you or rather I give you some of my thoughts & feel
ings & I want you to examine your own feelings
& as you know so much better than I can what the
prospect or chance is for making you will know
what to do & how to advise me- recollect we are
sacrificing a great deal in being seperated &
if you think the chance is a poor one then why not
come home- but on the other hand if you think
you could accomplish your object by staying from
three to five years longer & think you would rather
do so- please write me & I will know what to do
I will go out just as soon as you write me to that effect
you would rather stay. I want you to read & consid
er this letter well you & John & make up your minds
for you know by this time what the chance is there
& consult to gather what is best & write me psitively
what you had rather do- not what you had rather but
what you will do & tell me what I must do for I
have no one to tell me but you & please my dear
sweet husband tell me exactly what you would
rather I would do for I want to do to pelase you
if I knwo what it is & the way you have written
to me leaves me in such an awkerd position
I do not know what to do you say if I want to go so
bad & think I can stand my come a long now I  went
to do want you want me to do. John says ma do
not come dont think of such a thing I would not have
you here for any thing & gives me his reasons & good
ones & you write as though you only agree to my com
ing if I want to come so bad. now I want you to tell
me pointedly what I must do or what would be best
for me to do you know I have always done what ever
you advised me to.

& if you will only tell me what you think would be
the best for me to come out there or for you to come
home this winter or spring I will so gladly go if you
say so & if you say you will come oh with what
delight will I look forward to the time—
now my dear take every thing in consideration
& make up your mind & for my satisfaction-
write as soon as you get this. so I will know what
to depend on I have no one else to tell me & your
word & your wish is every thing to me I look to you I
depend on you for every thing now I want you to consider
every thing whether you would rather come back & for us all to
live to gather black & white of us & get a long in an easy
comfortable way or rather stugle longer with bordshipe
for the sake of fortune just say so. one thing I can tell you
you need never fear any unhappyness on my part in any
situation if I am with you any more on this earth for I had
rather live in a shanty or in the poorest way you can im
agine with you. the truth is I am determined never a
gain to be troubled a bout any thin if I can only have
you with me you will see me the happiest creature
you ever saw in your life if you ever see me a gain
I will remain so as long as you are spared to me
will I have said enough on the subject I will now leave
it with & wait & look with all enxiety for an answer
to it & please answer it in full & be positive in your
answer. I will now my sweet darling husband tell
you of other matters and have had but one
rain here since the middle of June there has never
such a time Ive known in Ky there has been no veg
tables this sumer people say they will not have more
potatoes than they planted there is no tomatoes in fact there
is no vegitables at all & meal isone dollar a bushel
flour four dis a hudnre butter twenty for cts
per pound & scarce at that bacon ham 121 9 cts a pound
& potatoes 1 dollar a bushel & the most of the far
more are suffering for matter stock matter they are
talking of not raising our a barrel of corn to the acre
the grass is as prefectly dead as you ever saw it in
the dead of winter. people say there has never been
such a time see in Ky before. & the hotest weather I
ever experienced any where in my life it is so at
this time & has been so ever since the middle of June
Thornton Moore had a negro man to die of sun stroke
in the harvest field a tout healthy young negro
that he gave close hundred dollars a year a go for—
Tom White is broke he has given up all his property
to his creditors the old hous that he moved out of
was sold last court day for five hundred dollars
they say he will have nothing left when his dts are paid
I was told there was a great many suits brought a
gainst him last court Billy Graves brought the house
White is owing him for borowed money. the talk is
that Alvin Duvall must throw up before long the
people are pressing him tight. I have put all the
notes & accounts you left with me in Nak Polks
hands he says if he got nothing for them
he will charge nothing & it was no use to let
them lay here always. I tried bat but as usual he
was two lizy to do any thing he had come of there
in his hands ever since last sumer unitl a month
ago I made him give them back if any buddy
can do any thing with them it will be Polk for he is
an industrious fellow & he thinks he can get some
money at any raite it will cost me nothing for him
to try & there was no chance to let them lay here
old sister Smith told me to day that Rigo that marries
Emma had not been doing any thing since he went back
but loasing his money & he had lost two thousand dollars
of that & all their clothing by the fire there he
lost his money by lending they are verry anxious
for them to come a way from there.

Tom Johnson & Lawrs talks of startig out
in oct the most of the folks think they will
go no farther than the farm South the
funeral impression here is that Tom ha snot
got much money but he says he has a suit
in court same land claim & is compelled to go
back & if he [quins?] that suit he will have
a million or two if he has money he has
made no display of it what ever for he is
verry plain & economical seemingly & cute
no dash whatever. I will now give you
the dates of all the letters I have received
from you since you left. I always told
you in every one of my letters when I had got a
letter & the date of it & I thought that was just
as satisfactory as though I had written the date
of all of them in one letter for by looking at my
letters each one of them you could see what letter
I had got last. From Thurs feb 28 1853
July 4th 1854 Oct 28 1852 August 28 1853 June 26
1853 March 18 1854 May 28 54 April 1st 1854
& to D H Smith January 28 1854 & Seven from John
& the last July 16th 1854 why does not my boy write
me more frequently tell him to do so & tell me all
his feelings & keep nothing from me if he is unhappy
tell me & if not tell me tell him his mother
takes a good cry every time she thinks of him ashing his
shirts & cooking his own victuals oh com to your
mother that takes so much plasure in waiting on you
& let me have the pleasure to do it for it is all my
pleasure to wait on & make happy & comfortable my dear
child & husband now farewell & do if you please
write me as soon as you get that I want a log letter
from my boy tues lizzie is a sleep buy me
she almost a woman in size if I had not here with
me to do for & to love me & to love I do not know
what I would do. oh if I could only do as you drenp
it would be a long long kiss

remember I am your true and devoted wife M Haun

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